Sparkles, Bubbles, and Being a Girl

In these last few months I have become a ghost of myself. I have suffered from a variety of ills plaguing my body, my mind, and my spirit. The moment I recovered from a cold I somehow got the flu, and the moment I recovered from the flu I became sick again. It is easy to lose your self in sickness and sometimes it's easy to forget that we are lost.

I was lost.

I do not know if I am still a ghost,

But I am starting to remember.

In my reveries I have come to realize that even the closest people to me don't know parts of me that I expect they would, but how could they when I keep those parts hidden in metaphoric boxes. I took a few minutes to consider myself and why I would hide parts of me away; In doing so I became aware that it is important to me that the people close to me are proud of me. In my past people were interested in my achievements more than my whimsies and as a result my whimsies are silent secrets stuck in invisible boxes. It's time to let them out.

In high school I had a teacher tell me something I have never forgotten. She even wrote it in my yearbook: "Even though you dress in black, you will always be shiny and bright". I didn't believe her at 16, but I believe her now. People have always seen me shine before I could see it myself. I always knew it was there, I have always even been full of confidence, but now it's time for me to see me shine. I'm ready now.

I am ready.

I am a girl who love sparkles, bubbles and butterflies. I am a girl who loves makeup, lace, and beautiful dresses, I am a girl who loves having her hair done, feeling sexy, and mysterious. I am a girl who has a soft spot for Taylor Swift and Katy Perry. I am a girl who loves being a girl. I am not afraid of being feminine because being feminine doesn't mean I cannot be strong. I love high heels and combat boots, romance and horror, hard rock and classical music. I am an artist, musician, and librarian. I am more things than I can ever write down and this makes me happy.

People know I love books, theater and film. People know I value my education, that I have big dreams and a fierce determination, willpower and independence. But they may not know how much I love flowers and gazing at the stars, or how excited I get when I see a shooting star or rainbow. These things are just as much a part of me.

And here they are~