Sparkles, Bubbles, and Being a Girl

In these last few months I have become a ghost of myself. I have suffered from a variety of ills plaguing my body, my mind, and my spirit. The moment I recovered from a cold I somehow got the flu, and the moment I recovered from the flu I became sick again. It is easy to lose your self in sickness and sometimes it's easy to forget that we are lost.

I was lost.

I do not know if I am still a ghost,

But I am starting to remember.

In my reveries I have come to realize that even the closest people to me don't know parts of me that I expect they would, but how could they when I keep those parts hidden in metaphoric boxes. I took a few minutes to consider myself and why I would hide parts of me away; In doing so I became aware that it is important to me that the people close to me are proud of me. In my past people were interested in my achievements more than my whimsies and as a result my whimsies are silent secrets stuck in invisible boxes. It's time to let them out.

In high school I had a teacher tell me something I have never forgotten. She even wrote it in my yearbook: "Even though you dress in black, you will always be shiny and bright". I didn't believe her at 16, but I believe her now. People have always seen me shine before I could see it myself. I always knew it was there, I have always even been full of confidence, but now it's time for me to see me shine. I'm ready now.

I am ready.

I am a girl who love sparkles, bubbles and butterflies. I am a girl who loves makeup, lace, and beautiful dresses, I am a girl who loves having her hair done, feeling sexy, and mysterious. I am a girl who has a soft spot for Taylor Swift and Katy Perry. I am a girl who loves being a girl. I am not afraid of being feminine because being feminine doesn't mean I cannot be strong. I love high heels and combat boots, romance and horror, hard rock and classical music. I am an artist, musician, and librarian. I am more things than I can ever write down and this makes me happy.

People know I love books, theater and film. People know I value my education, that I have big dreams and a fierce determination, willpower and independence. But they may not know how much I love flowers and gazing at the stars, or how excited I get when I see a shooting star or rainbow. These things are just as much a part of me.

And here they are~

The Beautiful and Inspirational Veronica Varlow

When I was younger I felt foolish if I envied or admired another human being; I felt weak if I had a personal hero. I believed that if I envied myself, admired myself, and was my own personal hero then I was strong, powerful, unstoppable. I was wrong.

In my experience, when you choose not to admire anyone you isolate yourself completely. Heroes inspire us to be greater than what we are, they help push us past our self made limitations and help us expand our wings so we can fly. Sometimes we need another's words to be our pillar of strength when we feel weak or tired and that is ok.

I still believe that I am my own hero, but now I can say I have more than one hero in my life and I admire more people than I can count on my hands. I love them. I may have never even met them personally, but I cherish their existence just as I cherish my own.

One beautiful soul that I admire is Veronica Varlow. I discovered Veronica when I attended my first Emilie Autumn concert. I knew of her before, being a fan of Emilie Autumn and the a bloody Crumpets, but I did not DISCOVER her. Seeing Veronica live, on that stage with the other strong and beautiful women, enthralled me. I was captivated. When I returned home I found Veronica's blog and I started following it. I have come to love her even more.

Veronica Varlow inspires me to become the strong beautiful woman I want to be; she helps me rediscover the strong beautiful woman that I know I am, and for that I am eternally grateful.

I raise my glass in admiration, love, and appreciation for Veronica. For you, and for myself, I will always speak my name with magic.

A Wicked Little Preface

Some days I curl up and cry, some days I spin in circles with my hands in the air encompassing life itself, some days I sit in quiet contemplation, some days I play coy, and some days I am humbled by the worlds enchantments. Within all of these magnificent thoughts and emotions lies my gratitude.

Sometimes it is difficult to take a moment for yourself, and when you give up these moments you can lose yourself. For many, many, years I waved away these moments because I was too busy for them and in doing so my very foundation became weak and unstable. It is time for me to take these moments; in realizing this it feels like I can breathe again.

This blog will serve as my personal journal that I can share with the world. I will fill it with anything I find whimsical, charming, beautiful, interesting, and beneficial. There will be everything from health and beauty to art, food, and history. Whatever suits my fancy.

I hope that whoever stumbles across this little piece of myself finds something they can take with them and will possibly leave something with me.